


Fred

by yodepalma



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Fluff and Crack, Gen, I Was Drunk When I Wrote This, Pets, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-27 22:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10818438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodepalma/pseuds/yodepalma
Summary: Me: I wonder what kind of pet Ignis would have.Friend: He's got a plant named Fred.Other Friend: And a pet rock that Noct gave him.





	Fred

**Author's Note:**

> I have been in an awful slump, so I decided to write a ficlet about Iggy's theoretical pet. My friends were...helpful.
> 
> This has not been beta'd and it was written AND edited while, uh, under the influence of both rum and codeine. I make the best life choices. Don't be me, fam.

“What in the world is this?” Noct asks, dropping his bookbag by the table on his way to inspect the…thing on the counter by Iggy.

“I thought you’d recognize Rocky,” Ignis says mildly. He doesn’t look up from whatever gross vegetable he’s chopping for today’s lunch. “Though I suppose it has been a few years since you gave him to me.”

“I was _four_ , Specs,” Noct grumbles. “And I’m not talking about the stupid rock.”

“Don’t hurt his feelings, Highness. Rocky’s as smart as any other rock.”

“Ugh, _Ignis_.” He doesn’t continue his complaint, mostly because he doesn’t really _need_ to. Ignis is smiling already anyway, so it probably won’t do him any good to whine. Even if he does wish Ignis would stop teasing him about the stupid rock’s name. “What’s that ugly plant you’ve got?”

“Must you insult him?” Ignis sighs. “I thought even you would recognize an _Echinocactus grusonii_ when you saw one.”

“A—what?” Noct shakes his head, hoping the scientific name will make sense if it bounces around his skull for a few seconds. It doesn’t work. “It’s a cactus?”

Ignis looks up at him briefly, one eyebrow raised, but doesn’t stop chopping. Noct rubs his face and groans.

“Okay, it’s definitely a cactus,” he says. “But what’s _that_?” He points very pointedly at what looks like a flower bud nestled among the spines on the top of that plant. Ignis follows the line of his finger, and when he catches sight of what Noct’s pointing toward a genuine smile lights up his face. He puts his knife down and leans in close.

“I do believe Fred has decided to grace us with a flower after all,” he says. “And I was told he never would.”

“You named the cactus _Fred_?” Sometimes Noct can’t believe what an unbelievable _dork_ Ignis can be. “And how do you know it’s male?”

Ignis gives him a very patient look, and Noct suddenly regrets the question. He’s about to get a brief botany lesson, isn’t he?  A nice, pleasant weekend lunch turned into a biology lesson because Ignis has to go and know godsdamned everything, the jerk.

“It isn’t male, Highness. As I’m sure you’re aware from biology class, flowering plants…”

Noct comfortably tunes Ignis out, scowling at the little potted plant and the googly-eyed rock sitting at its base. When Ignis finally turns back to preparing lunch, Noct carefully reaches out and moves Rocky a fraction of an inch away from the cactus. He can’t believe Ignis would so heartlessly let his poor pet rock get stabbed like that.

**Author's Note:**

> It should probably be noted that Rocky only has one eye. And may or may not have "ROCK" written on him.


End file.
